Growth without goals

February 24, 2026

A year and a half ago, right after I proposed to my partner, I was catching my breath after 22km on the mountain bike in the middle of nowhere green, and I started turning over what it means to be a father, and what it takes to be a good one. Unconditional love? Availability? Patience? The basics. But what could I teach my future kids that would let them live full, satisfying lives?

For many, having children is a life goal; for others, it’s raising them the best way possible. What’s certain is that setting goals is part of what defines us as humans. Especially in the West, being successful means having reached those goals. We stack up achievements and call them success. For me, success means something different now, and I think being a good father will mean getting my future kids to understand that. What I want to pass on is this: success is building a set of daily practices and sustaining them over time. It’s growing, but without goals. Because staying consistent in practice beats goal-based success.

The story we’re told is that money, power, and awards are synonyms for success. Social media pushes that idea even harder. We want everything, and we want it now. It’s a constant hunger for more. I grew up with that as the truth. These days I try to ask myself: what stories do we tell ourselves are true when they’re not?

I remember that when I was young, whenever I had to make a wish, it was always about money. There’s one I repeated over and over: “I’ll be a millionaire before I’m 30.” How sad, right?

Now, not long after 30, I just want to explore. Blogs, weekend projects, new LLMs, podcasts, books, sports, cultures, places, people. I don’t hold back. Exploring is a continuous process with no finish line. Focusing on that is deeply satisfying. Sometimes it produces things that look like achievements or endpoints, but they’re really just byproducts. I apply the same idea to work. No goals; just an intense focus on getting a bit better every day, exploring and learning, putting myself in uncomfortable situations, having a good time, and feeling alive. Then doing it again the next day, and the next, and the next.

Inspired by Patrick O’Shaughnessy